in Satire

A Different Wrinkle on Cosmetic Surgery

I observed a stunning older woman, possibly in her eighties, having lunch with friends. She was beautiful. The wrinkles on her face indicated a history of many smiles. Closer scrutiny did not reveal the usual tell-tale indications of cosmetic surgery.

I am noticing more and more older women today who have had “work done.” Starting at our mid forties, or even earlier, we begin to Botox, fill, scrape and remove. I suppose if we begin to look like a Shar Pei there is a good argument for having a procedure.

Wanting to appear refreshed and postpone Mother Nature’s sense of humor is one thing, but some of us have pushed the limits of realism with surgical procedures. For the life of me I can’t understand why Asian women would have surgery to create Anglo eyes. I see Anglo women, who as a result of visiting the surgeon a tad too many times, now sport Asian eyes.

Do we really want to look like the Garfield figurine hanging on to the car window with perpetual shock/horror locked on his kisser forever. Add some platypus lips and you can answer a cast call for Shrek.

As time passes a cosmetically enhanced face reveals its history and ultimately, we escape nothing. Eventually the crow’s feet come home to roost on our face and neck. Often the whole shebang sort of slides sideways or south and we look really strange. There is the” I’m eternally surprised look” or the “I’m always frustrated” look.

A face that reflects its quest for knowledge is interesting. A face that indicates an interest in others is a more reliable wrinkle retardant. I’ll never know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet a sizable portion of chocolate, that the older woman I observed has never given plastic surgery a thought.