in Satire

A Job is What You Do, Not Who You Are

In a social setting when people refer to themselves by their profession, I look for the nearest exit. If I wanted a career summary I would have stayed home in my jammies and surfed Monster.com. Why do these types believe this is anything other than boring? Unless they are perfecting stem cell transplantation to reverse a sagging butt, I’m not interested. They suffer from a severe case of arrested development.

In our city, chest thumping often involves real estate or finance. A play-by-play analysis of either has the potential to induce sleep or anger. Men are particularly guilty of this. They may believe their career adds to their appeal, but the affect is quite the opposite. Whether indulging in one-upmanship with another man or looking for an audience of any kind, the technique seldom varies. With feigned superiority, he begins the presentation. He should save face, breath and his dignity.

If he is retired and scouting younger women, he needs to pray and lose the ten pounds where his former six-pack resided. Unless he invented lipstick or liposuction, females in his age group are not going to find him interesting. If he’s a big deal, smart women already know it.

In a social setting, you rarely hear women speak of themselves in terms of their career, past or present. Those who do, risk qualifying for the BIATCH tee shirt and find themselves keeping company with the bartender.

Among my female acquaintances are a former attorney, a practicing clinical psychologist and the director of a large medical center. Over the years, I have yet to hear either volunteer information regarding their profession in a social setting. Their conversation usually follows the lines of interesting current events or social or political issues. If either had to describe themselves in terms of identity, I doubt if a professional designation would float to the top of their list.

A job is what you do, not who you are (except in the case of politicians all of whom earn theĀ  title “snow job”).