in Satire

Daylight Savings Time

From the Archives 3/28/2011

Daylight savings time was first used during World War I to conserve fuel and later instituted in the seventies by Richard Nixon. Wouldn’t you know it was a man and a republican to boot?

Considering my distrust of the righteous right, how do we know daylight savings time isn’t the real-time and standard time is bogus? Days  longer in the summer anyway so who would know?

The farmers don’t like it because it upsets the body clocks of the cows. The cows can adjust just like the rest of us have to do.

The Energy Policy Act of 2005 stipulates when daylight savings begins and ends. States are not required to comply with the act; in fact, Arizona and Hawaii are the only two states that do not. Arizona is too hot in the summer to have daylight a minute longer than necessary and Hawaii doesn’t need the extra light. Two lawmakers in Colorado are at odds over the issue. One wants daylight savings on a permanent basis, the other wants to eliminate it.

Why go back to standard time in the fall? Wouldn’t the days get shorter anyway without help from an energy policy act?

I always dread the season when daylight savings time ends. The hibernation syndrome kicks in when the sun goes down at 5:30PM and cranks up the couch potato factor. It is hard to get motivated to do anything but eat Tex-Mex and try to stay awake.

Congress is at a loss to do anything constructive. Since the majority claim allegiance to the “r” brotherhood, and one of their own instituted the policy, you’d think they’d consider legislation to make daylight savings time the real-time. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate demonstration of “taking back our country?”