in Satire

Dog Friendly Dining

 

I love four legged furry friends as much as the next person, but I am ambivalent about sharing dining accommodations with them. Saw an ad for a restaurant touting its dog friendly dining patio. Is there a demand for this type of service?

I share pooch and kitty kisses so that removes me from the domain of overzealous germ phobics. Isn’t it a bit excessive for over the top dog lovers to bring Fido to lunch? Service dogs exempted of course. Ordering an appetizer while hauling a mini dog out of a handbag and inquiring if the lettuce is triple washed is incongruous.

Outdoor dining in Dallas is enjoyable for a very brief season. Finding one where you aren’t sucking up gas fumes five feet from a major thoroughfare limits the selection even more. Having located just the spot only to discover the soothing sensation from my first sip of an adult beverage slide south when a matron and her yappy dog arrive is disappointing.

Dogs are animals. They get restless. They don’t make discreet inquiries as to the location of the nearest power room; they just do what comes naturally.

Aside from the irritation of a small yappy dog, I find it unnerving to have a slobbering St Bernard as a fellow diner. On the plus side, it is a really effective appetite suppressant. I do get nervous when they start leering at my burger.

Dogs love to ride in the car. Take Fido to Sonic. He can drool and yap to his heart’s content and you can assuage your guilty conscience by┬áincluding him as a dining companion.