in Satire

Website Hacked

To the person who hacked my website

You picked the wrong Texas woman to mess with. You thought I would be easy prey. You probably believe all that crap about southern women being helpless and sweet and you hit my site. You had no clue I know how to code and spotted your hidden script in my website.

You probably watched “Gone with the Wind” too many times and assumed southern women are more Melanie and less Scarlet.  You were wrong. Like Sherman marching through Atlanta, I took you down.

You didn’t know I pulled up your website to see how you were using my resources. You are raking in the moola charging people to download songs and movies…..in India.

The instructor who taught my coding class was a tekkie nerd par excellence. He refused to use a book and the entire course was hands on instruction.  I had to get new eyeglasses and a tooth guard for sleep  before I completed the course. I’m pretty sure I saw a bottle of Xanax near his podium. He usually popped two when I walked into the classroom. I survived and it paid off as I caught you red-handed, all by myself.

I did feel somewhat bad afterwards. What if you are funny like the clever office manager in TV series “Outsourced”, portrayed by Rizwan Manji? He was my favorite character on the show – a charming schemer. I probably would like you and envy your originality. Hey, we might have worked out a business arrangement, but nooooo, you had to be greedy. Netflix does not offer a wide variety of Punjabi and Pakistani album songs, as well as latest Bollywood movies. This could have been a money maker.

You obviously prefer to go it alone with this business venture.  My suggestion would be to avoid hacking women’s websites. Most of us know better. Why not piggyback a political website, for instance Ted Cruz’s. You’d probably be safe there for a long time.