in Satire

Live Chat Help

Live chat is good in theory, but for practical use it comes up short. It is a cheap way for service providers to mislead customers. Unless the issue is very minor it doesn’t work.

The  two day old newly installed cable service refused to perform . I could have had brain surgery and recovered in the amount of time it took the  company to resolve the issue.

The first live chat session  was with “Josh”. I got a sinking feeling things might not go well when it became obvious “Josh” could not spell. I got vertigo running to the television to check out the blue/green/yellow blinking lights that refused to blink. Finally the television performed as expected. Josh must have strange powers because as soon as the live chat ended so did the television program.

After three live chat sessions with “Josh”, “Robert” and “Harold”, the cable company sent a technician. The macho technician arrived and after a series of gyrations informed me the initial installation was incorrect. He had several resolutions, but they all involved more dollars than I was willing to pay. Au Contraire, sez I, why should I pay if the installation was incorrect.

When I hinted we would return to our former cable provider; his used car salesman persona surfaced. Putting on his earnest  “good cop” face, he offered to go to his truck and plead our case with the cable provider god.

I can picture him now, sitting in his truck swigging a mountain dew and laughing at our predicament. Ten minutes later, he returns laden with all sorts of gizmos and announced it would not cost us one extra dime for said gizmos. The television now performs feats I can only imagine.

Next time I need an upgrade, I’ll use live chat and hope “Josh” is working that day.