in Mary Margaret, Politics

Mary Margaret on A Politician’s Wife

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My friend Mary Margaret is featured as a guest blogger from time to time.

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The public holds a politician’s wife to impossible standards.

Who cares if Melania Trump posed buck naked nude years ago?  Maybe she got saved. Aren’t Republicans supposed to be big on folks gettin’ saved?

I’ll bet Ted Cruz’ wife wishes she had kept her job instead of following him around campaigning. That isn’t the look of love in her eyes when she gets off that damned bus after traveling with Ted and the kids. Try traveling with someone who sounds like “Mr. Haney on Green Acres” plus caring for bored grumpy kids. It’s all too much.

Bernie’s wife has been chastised for her weight. Who wouldn’t put on a few pounds after sampling caucus food? All that meat and pies pack on the pounds.

How many women could withstand microscopic scrutiny of their past or present?

My give a damn got good and busted years ago and I let my freak flag fly. My husband could never run for public office.

I’m pretty sure the bar was packed the time I did jello shots while belting “I will survive” at the local karaoke bar.

Then there’s that time I gave an aggressive bitch driver a middle finger salute.

Not to mention the other day at the gym I poked the lady who won’t share a swimming lane. She floats like a dead carp bottom side up and I gave her rump a gentle nudge with my toe to see if she was alive. She thought it was the old S.O.B in the next lane trying to cop a feel. All hell broke loose.

The nosy neighbor next door gives me the stink eye when I put out my recyclables. Empty wine, beer, and vodka bottles make a lot of noise.

Last week I ran over a man racing for the express check out lane. He had more than fifteen items in his buggy. He should know better. He’ll be happy to discover broken toes heal fast these days.

I haven’t owned a dress in at least fifteen years. I’m sure sweats aren’t fashion de rigeur for white house events.

Being a politician’s wife is tantamount to a stint in hell, without vodka.

Any woman brave enough to appear in public with any of these meshuggener’s deserves a free pass.

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