in Satire

Ten Commandments for Elevator Etiquette

According to some estimates elevators have been around since the third century BC.  Recent observations indicate mankind’s behavior regarding usage of them has not progressed beyond that time.

I would like to propose the following as ten commandments for elevator etiquette:

Thou shalt observe and assist the infirm upon entering and exiting.

Thou shalt make way for departing passengers prior to charging like crazed dingo.

Thou shall not board elevator with enough luggage  to fill cargo hold of 747.

Thou shalt not wear perfume/after shave in quantity sufficient to anesthetize others.

Thou shalt not consider occupied elevator  as opportune moment to let tyke push buttons.

Thou shalt not talk on the cell phone while in elevator.

Thou shalt postpone conversation outlining intimate details of medical condition/procedures.

Thou shalt not attempt to cop a feel or check out décolleté/booty of female passengers.

Thou shalt cover before coughing or sneezing.

Thou shalt not prevent elevator door from closing while contemplating destination.

Feel free to add your own elevator irks.