I find myself wondering about all sorts of crazy stuff. For Instance:
Do all cars look like Hondas?
The other day I was driving behind this really hot looking car that looked just like my Honda. I felt rather smug that my auto still looked classy in spite of joining the auto equivalent of AARP membership. Inching closer, I discovered a sleek Jaguar had replaced the top heavy “H” insignia. Clearly the people at Jaguar knocked off my Honda. Accustomed to being at the knockoff end rather than designer end, I treated the Honda to a hot wax job at the drive-thru car wash.
Where are the kids with freckles?
Do freckles present at birth or do they arrive later? I can’t remember the last time I saw a freckled faced tot. Is it because kids are stuck inside with video games? Are kids with freckles an endangered species? A million years from now will archaeologist be thrilled to discover rare freckled homo sapiens?
What happened to ordinary pooches?
Dogs have joined the Kardashians as social media personalities. Now we have such distinguished species as Azawakhs (imagine a book titled “Old Azawakhs”), the Portuguese Podengo Pequeno and the Chinook. Collies and hound dogs have fallen by the wayside as signature pets. Who dreams up new dog breeds anyway? What happens if a breeder creates an Edsel counterpart? Seems to me shelters are running over with ordinary animals.
National wear your pajamas to work day
Now this sounds like the best day ever. I think people would be more productive if they could wear pajamas to work. Why is it women who should never wear leggings, especially without a tent to cover, are the ones who do? Pajamas are the perfect solution. No more camel toe at the water cooler. Why is it the HR rep. never chastises women who push the envelope by wearing revealing leggings to work? Eliminate ugly. Bring on the pajamas.
Girls Names you don’t hear
Today, no one names a girl Thelma, Rhoda, Donna or Helen. In 2014, would anyone go to a movie titled “Thelma and Louise”? When do names become obsolete? At what point does a name become dated? What do you do if you are mid-life and stuck with a moniker whose shelf life has expired?
What kind of crazy stuff do you wonder about?
Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect
I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.