Just when I believed convenience had reached its peak with Amazon prime shopping, Skype and streaming movies at home, powdered alcohol arrived.

When I first heard about Palcohol my first reaction was eewwwww a powdery martini.

Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau approved the stuff for sale this summer. It will occupy shelf space alongside its liquid counterpart at the liquor store.

Naysayers are outraged and want to ban sales for a variety of reasons, citing underage drinking at the top of the list. Enterprising teens will do as they’ve always done and bribe a “legal” to get the stuff for them.

Packaging measures four by six inches and according to its creators would be too difficult to sneak into a venue. Au contraire; I have a tote that can conceal a small child. I don’t care if people stare while I drink from my purse.

A few other benefits came to mind tilting the scales to the favorability side of the issue:

Who can possibly object to bringing a small bottle of water to your nephew’s first-grade performance as a tree?

Dare I mention church and a boring sermon?

Even better, think of the convenience when visiting tee-totaling relatives in their home. No more embarrassing clanging bottles in your luggage. You may find you actually enjoy the retelling for the umpteenth time of their genius fifth grader winning the spelling bee.

Taking out the garbage will no longer require covert operations to prevent nosy neighbors from observing your alcohol consumption.

Think of the savings at restaurants. One can enjoy an adult beverage without sticker shock for watered down water.

Screw the airlines; bring your own water bottle and fill it up before you get on the plane.

Think of the weight, no more lugging heavy quart glass bottles from the liquor store. A month’s supply won’t weigh as much as the cat’s snack food.

I think I just may have found a new pal. Ain’t life great?

Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect

JoAnn Williams

I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.