Some unfortunate people got a whopping case of indigestion when a family member ruined thanksgiving by announcing they are supporting Donald Trump. What a low blow to discover you may share DNA with wolves.
You can laugh off your drunk, hillbilly uncle sprawled in a lawn chair, swilling beer in your driveway.
Aunt Lucy’s hellfire rant targeting you as the intended subject is old news.
It’s a given that Aunt Sally’s green bean casserole causes nuclear grade heartburn, but there isn’t an acid reducer known to man strong enough to quell Trump reflux.
Prevent your next family holiday catastrophe. Vet your relatives to determine their political persuasion before inviting them.
Should someone escape scrutiny and you find yourself hosting a Trump supporter you can deploy your own shock therapy.
Here are my suggestions:
In a loud voice, ask your mother if you are adopted.
Call your Muslim friends and invite them over for dessert.
Pass the hat for donations to the undocumented workers retirement fund.
Announce according to Ancestry.com, your grandfather was bi-racial. (Effective for any ethnicity).
Serve after dinner coffee in your “Feel the Bern” mugs.
Announce your neighborhood is a gun free zone.
Say you heard on Fox News that Donald was born in Kenya.
You won’t change political affiliations, but your participation in family events will be minimal until well past the 2016 election.
Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect
I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.