Think it’s easy to cut the cord? Guess again.
Cable providers developed their business plan from organized crime syndicates.
They are as usurious as payday loan sharks. The early termination fee applies until nanoseconds before your contract expires.
A six-month trial with our over the air indoor antenna proved to be a success. We receive our top five favorite channels and stream the rest. Much like cable television, the other fifty-one channels are junk; televangelist begging for money or programs that date back to the Eisenhower administration.
After viewing a full season of Madam Secretary, I was prepared to negotiate with our cable provider.
The conversation went something like this:
Me: “I’d like to stop my cable UWorse cable, but keep the internet service.”
UWorse: “May I ask why you are terminating your cable television? I see from our records that you’ve are a long time customer.”
Me: “I am using an over the air antenna and stream programming.” I thought it best not to ask how they distinguish customers from victims.
UWorse: “We offer cost-saving bundles for our cable tv customers.”
Me: “I don’t want to bundle. I want to terminate cable and keep the internet.”
UWorse: “We have some exceptional offers from Indirect TV our satellite division.
Me: “Bombast Cable TV is offering new customers blazing speed internet service, no data limits, and free cable for six months with no contract and a three hundred dollar gift card.”
UWorse: “May I place you on hold for a moment?”
By now it was obvious the UWorse rep did not watch Madam Secretary. Madam Secretary never puts a caller on hold. A victory was about to be mine.
The rep was absent for so long my cell phone was down to one bar and on life support. As I was re-thinking my position she came back on the line to tell me UWorse values its longtime customers.
The term “value” has come to have a new meaning for me.
Madam Secretary never airs episodes that feature negotiations with a cable provider. She needs to up her game.
Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect
I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.