How to Deal with Obnoxious Individuals During an Election Year

My Woodstock hippie pal Lillith called to tell me she had discovered a method for dealing with obnoxious individuals during an election year. There is a limit as to how long one can grit one’s teeth.

She plans to  respond “okay”  to  the right wingnuts  who don’t respect political boundaries and walk away.

I had to grit my teeth as it was obvious she had not read my previous missive on how to  deal with people from the dark side.

Had she bothered to read it, she would have known  “wow”  is a  better option than “okay”.  It is an acceptable way of conveying “you are a  moron”, without actually saying it.

I’m sure Lillith completely forgot about “Bless your heart” the ultimate comeback  southern women have uttered since Sherman blazed through Atlanta.

These are difficult times and given the current political climate, I’ve expanded my  responses to include gestures.

frame-1482474How to  idiot proof yourself when discussing politics:

  • All  references to the construction of a wall are “Wow” worthy.

[exhibit an expression of disbelief while doing  a forehead smack for emphasis.] Resist the urge to  smack the other person.

  • “You’re gonna love it” begets an automatic  “Okay.”

[continue to speak an exaggerated “okaaaay”, accompanied by eye roll and chest smack while backing away from the perp.]

  • When someone remarks “you-know-who” cherishes women, “Bless your heart” is the hands down winner.

[be careful with this one if you are not from the south. Perform chest smack, accompanied by eye-roll and a gentle touch to the shoulder of the offender, while backing away— fast.]

Contrary to what some say, there is no shame in retreat.

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