I am the last person in the entire universe to cave and get a smart phone.
I have a cell phone and tablet, I argued, so why would I want one?
Tuesday’s child nagged me for two years to get a smart phone and offered her gently used one.
Sunday’s child aka Switzerland was neutral.
Monday’s child was snarky and remarked one had to be smarter than the phone to use it.
Why would I want to check out the internet on an itty bitty screen? Why would I want to check email on my phone; it can wait.
I hate talking on the phone and text most of the time. Any old phone will do that, won’t it? That was before I got my smart phone.
It was a huge mistake to make the switch. I am addicted.
Our wireless provider talked me into a safety/hands-free device for the car. The device is cool but required another learning curve and of course an extra fee.
I have never seen so many apps for a phone. No more typing and sending indecipherable text messages. Now I speak indecipherable text messages. It recognizes four letter expletives and puts in asterisks in the appropriate places.
The problem is I don’t have time for anything other than our electronics.
We own two Pc’s, two tablets, one smart phone, one cell phone, a nest thermostat, and a television set that streams from the internet. One of them always requires attention; having its apps updated, having it’s battery charged, updating its software.
The holidays are approaching and I can hardly wait to show the kids how cool I am.
I’m going to spend the day on the sofa with my smart phone and tablet texting and watching videos. I believe I saw an app that replies “um hum” when someone asks a question.
Now all I need to do is perfect the glazed over eye expression. But hey, a couple of shots of tequila ought to take care of that.
If any of the aforementioned guilty happen to read this (I doubt that they do) this is your mom being cool.
Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect
I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.