The deadline for my term paper is due but I sit, waiting for Calliope to show up.
Calliope is the writing muse. You’d think she’d show up for a term paper. Until she does, I’m stuck in discussion board hell, a requirement for the class I am taking.
I don’t like discussion boards, but they do provide a way to avoid tackling my term paper.
Do people talk that highfalutin in person as they do on a discussion board?
I’m betting not. I imagine the others behave pretty much the same as I do. I sit in my sweats, hot and spicy Cheetos at hand, and wait for words to tumble out of my brain and onto the keyboard. My mouth usually runs non-stop. Now I am speechless waiting to complete the mandatory 300 words, plus 3 assigned vocabulary words requirement.
For diversion, I gaze at the rough draft term paper corrected by the online tutor. The dizzying array of red comments and yellow highlighter convince me that whoever critiqued my paper was dead drunk.
I should be organized BEFORE I start the paper.
I notice my stapler is empty. After I load the stapler, I glance at the printer. Low on printer paper and God knows I will need a ton of that to proof read my copy.
Where are the highlighters and my red pen? It will only take a minute or two to clean out my desk drawer and locate them.
Uh oh—where are the post-it notes? They always disappear, just like the socks in the washer. Wouldn’t it be funny if the socks and post it notes lived in an alternate universe?
Maybe the birds know. Speaking of birds, does anyone know where birds go when it rains?
Well wouldn’t you just know it—my online session ended for lack of activity. It’s just as well, I need some more Cheetos and a nice tall adult beverage. And I’m still waiting for Calliope.
Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect
I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.