If ever there was a week for miscellany this is it.
Questions I would Like Answered
Do everyone’s ears get larger as they age?
Does anyone know where birds go when it rains?
Where is the traffic cop when some idiot turns left from the far right lane?
Why does the upstairs neighbor always exercise in combat boots when I’m taking a nap?
Why do people who have little yappy dogs bring them to the big box home improvement store?
Is it karma that the outfit I just purchased went on sale the next day for fifty percent less?
Explain why politicians get sleazier and more self-dealing every year.
Why does the cat always turn her backside to me when she’s sleeping in my bed?
Why do the shoes that felt so good when I purchased them, turn on me the next day?
How can some women look terrific in a winter beanie and the same cap makes me look like a bag lady?
Titles I am Never Going to Write
The Amazing Intellect of Donald Trump
Let’s hear it for the One Percent
One Thousand Delicious Ways to Prepare Garbanzo Beans
The Hidden Danger of Tequila
Why You Should Never Use YouTube as a Medical Reference
The Texas Legislature; A Model for Progressive Reform for Women’s Issues
To The moron in Target on her cell phone
I’m sure you will be surprised to discover the universe would not stop spinning on its axis if you didn’t answer your damned phone. There you stand, completely oblivious to the shopping cart traffic jam you created. You are the Blanche DuBois of retail rudeness, “depending on the kindness of strangers.”
Well, I am a stranger and right now, I’m not feeling kindly. I am bewildered, confused and completely flummoxed as to how to react.
Should I cough and hope you will get it and move out of the way? Or, maybe a firm, “Excuse me.” I resist the urge to injure your toes and footwear and move forward while muttering through clenched teeth with a fake smile pasted on my face.
What I’d really like to do is run my shopping cart over your Manolo Blahniks.
This is what I wish I’d done. Maybe next time I will.