It All Started with Gigabytes and Terabytes

I was feeling good about our internet usage until I discovered a warning, written in puny letters that said there is an additional charge for exceeding our gigabyte usage.

We had used one thousand and twenty-four gigabytes. Our plan allowed one terabyte which sounded ginormous. NOT!  According to Google, one thousand gigabytes equal one terabyte. Twenty-four measly gigabytes were going to cost extra. Called U-Worse to see how much they appreciate us as long time customers. Meh, not so much it seems.

For the equivalent of a year’s worth of chocolate and the next dozen hair appointments, we could upgrade to unlimited usage.

There is no negotiating with these people. Contrary to what the twitter-in-chief says, the art of that deal is strictly one-sided.

Day One: The technician arrived to trade out equipment for the upgrade. Four hours later, there is a hole in our den wall coming through the outside of the building. I check to see if our nosey neighbor in the HOA discovered the alteration to the building. She did not.  The technician throws up his hands and when I’m not looking makes a run for his truck and speeds away. Still no internet service.

Day Two: A big burly guy from U-Worse appears at the front door to check wire and hole in the wall, proclaims it safe and says service is complete and burns rubber peeling out of the driveway. I check the computer and nada; no world-wide web.

A call to U-worse confirms we require Tech Three to resolve the problem, and another day without internet.

Day Three:  While I am in the shower, I receive a text message from U-Worse asking me to complete an online satisfaction survey. What the #$@&%*!.

I am nowhere near satisfied with our inability to surf the net. I grab a towel, make sure I am not on skype and call U-Worse.

Me: “I am standing in my shower in the altogether, nowhere near the mood to participate in a satisfaction survey”

Bob at U-Worse: “Let me check on that for you.” That’s when you know you are on speaker phone hell for the foreseeable future.

Thanks to the miracle of speakerphone I was able to dry, dress, put on makeup, blow dry hair, prepare lunch and take a nap. Bottom line a technical glitch in their dispatch system canceled the appointment for that day.  Glitch is doublespeak absolving them of any effort to get my internet up post-haste.

Day Four: Tom, the perfect ten technician arrives, wiggled some wires, changed the modem and we are back in cyberspace nirvana.

The entire experience was traumatic but positive. I am now in a twelve step program for Amazon anonymous withdrawal.


Shame on you for inconveniencing U-Verse. You know those corporation/people have feelings!


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