Alternative Facts – News I Can Use

I believe someone was onto something when she coined the term “alternative facts.”

Alternative facts sounds iffy and I don’t feel comfortable advancing theories put forth by a woman who I believe has the basic intelligence of a fruit fly.

Aside from that, the basic concept may not be bad, but I believe  “selective truth” might be a better term.

This decision  helped my self esteem so much that I feel I must share my alternative facts  selective truths.

In my mind’s eye this is who I am:
mature female

Mature Female

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                  

Judging from other’s reactions, this is who they believe I am:
litle old lady

Little Old Lady

 

This is who I am when I go to purchase technical gadgets:
techie whiz

Techie Whiz

 

This is who the sales associates see:

Pain in Ass Elderly Novice

 

In my heart I am this:
young woman driving convertible

Sexy speed demon

 

 

 

 

                                                                        Other drivers see this:
old lady driving old car

Old Bag Driving Old Car

 

For my annual check up I show up as this:

 

healthy woman doing yoga

JoAnn Who Exercises

 

 

 

 

 

  My Doctor tells me she sees this:
overweight woman

JoAnn After Carbs

If you are feeling like you fell down the rabbit hole, try your own alternative facts selective truth.

Warning: Avoid consuming alcohol while practicing selective truths.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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