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Milestone Wisdom

This is the month when a milestone birthday arrives.

I am not revealing which milestone, but I will quote a friend who said, “At our age, it is better to be seen than viewed.”

People of a certain age are nearly always asked if they have regrets. I looked up all the synonyms for “regret” and none seemed appropriate. I believe most of us of a certain age dealt with a bad experience to the best of our ability at the time and moved on.  If we didn’t, we are such a pain in the ass, no one asks that question.

I admit to being a hypocrite; first in line to get a discount, but despise the term “senior citizen.” I tell myself it is a reward to long time customers.

When someone calls me “Hon or Sweetie” I grind my teeth. “Hon” is demeaning and no one who knows me would ever say that I am “sweet.”

It really makes me super angry when someone assumes older women don’t know much about current technology. Most of us use laptops, smartphones, tablets, etc. If it came down to it, I’d give up vodka before I’d give up any of my gadgets.

My own observations about reaching a milestone year are we don’t change that much.

JoAnn age two getting ready to shop

My mode of transportation and size of tote upgraded, but that inner child lurks within, you know, the one that says stuff that embarrasses her parents, only now it’s the adult children who get embarrassed.

I thought about what I would say to my thirteen-year-old self. I would tell her to ignore the teasing about her big butt. In her lifetime, a young woman will amass a fortune simply by having millions of followers keep up with hers.  An oversized derriere is a built-in safety feature. If you fall, you will bounce.

Come to think of it, falling and bouncing are what most of us experience on our journey to reach a milestone birthday.


Categories: Biased, Unbalanced and Politically Incorrect

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JoAnn Williams

I am a lifelong Southerner, short story author, and essayist. Home is Dallas, Texas.
My essays have appeared in Flash Fiction Magazine, The Dead Mule School of Southern Writing.

2 replies

  1. Well, this was perfect timing – my 60 is this year. YIKES, where have the years gone? For some of those years, they can be lost and gone forever, but for most, I’d love to re-live and enjoy them all over again. As for the “Hon or Sweetie” ~ well, if they were from the south it would be acceptable; anywhere else and I wouldn’t be gritting my teeth, but they might be missing a few of theirs. HA! Give up Vodka to keep the gadgets? That’s a tough one. I’m not giving up wine (it’s the only thing that keeps me calm enough to keep my filter in check). Without wine, the filter is OFF and that might not work well for me. 😉 Love n Hugs!


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