I am working on my family genealogy chart.

With all the fright going around with ISIS and talking heads making-it-up-as-they-go-along-Ebola experts thought I’d give myself a break from the scary stuff.

Due to diligent family record keeping, I was able to reach far back in history. My reprieve from scary stuff was short lived.

As I scan the aging photos of my DNA predecessors, it becomes obvious why the term “descend” is apt.

A long line of unattractive people make up my gene pool. The men don’t look so bad, but some of the women look like they missed the casting call for “Transparent” or “Orange is the New Black.”

A friend commented that women of a certain age, age more attractively in the city than their counterparts who inhabit the hinterlands. If she is correct, this has been going on for a long time.

Believe you me; the myth about the beauty of southern women is exaggerated.

There are few Scarlett O’Hara beauties in my family tree. Not only are some of them extremely unattractive, they look mean as rattlesnakes and I wondered why. The reason for their unpleasant countenance became clear as I noted the number of kids these women had.

Can you imagine living in a rural area in the 1800’s and having ten or eleven kids running around the cabin?

There was no Mothers’ Day Out program. No electricity or running water. Women suffered without pinot grigio to take the edge off;  maybe a little moonshine now and then. They could not have imagined  Fratelli’s pizza delivery on the days they didn’t feel like killing or skinning something for dinner.

A mani or pedi was unheard of and I’m sure it’s the reason they wore gloves and ugly shoes when they left home.

The men looked mean too and with good reason. Can you imagine the reception they got at the end of the day? (However, workday fatigue must have been short-lived as evidenced by a large number of children).

Had I been in their place I wouldn’t “smile for the camera” either.

I’ll take my oversized proboscis and generous backside that my forebears thrust upon me and be thankful for the here and now.

Note: First published during the Ebola crisis, October 14, 2015.
Fast Forward to December 2017 - in retrospect, Ebola may not have been all that bad.


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