Do We Want To Ban Bossy?

Do we want to ban “bossy”?

I don’t get it. What is wrong with being bossy?

Current events in state and national government indicate action stronger than “bossy” is going to be necessary to prevent women’s rights from eroding. Never has it been more important to encourage girls to think independently.

Would we have any semblance of equal rights if women had not been bossy?  If eliminating the word would help women achieve an equal place in the workplace isn’t it likely someone would have considered it long before now.

Rather than eliminate the word bossy, why not present it as a positive quality?

It’s difficult not to fuss over our beautiful daughters, dress them like dolls and focus on their appearance, but when we do doesn’t that send a message that external qualities are priorities? Why not focus on teaching them good eating habits and the importance of taking care of their bodies.

If we are to ban “bossy” why not ban “pretty”, “cute” and “sweet”?

Why not teach young girls to be strong but fair-minded. Teach girls they don’t have to be people pleasers. Tell them that others sometimes say untruthful or hurtful things about us and it will happen many times in their lives.

Give them the tools to develop self-confidence and not follow the pack. Exposing them to the joy of reading and discovering more words fuels their imaginations and promotes creativity.

Authoritarian, commanding, controlling, overbearing, imperious, iron-handed, pushy, overpowering, strict, tyrannical

These are other adjectives for “bossy,” all of which might be used as qualifying skills on a job description for a CEO, male of course. Some of them are unflattering, but I have witnessed their execution from the executive suite on more than one occasion.

Eons ago, in the land before time, my mentor told me “sweet” or “cute” are never compliments. It is what people say when they believe you have no brains. You never hear those adjectives when describing a CEO.

If “bossy” places more women in positions of power let’s think twice before we ban the word.


How to Get Rid of a Narcissistic Squirrel Who Refuses to Leave

Our resident narcissistic squirrel has monopolized the bird feeder for years.

narcissistic squirrel

He never sleeps.

Always places himself front and center; it’s all about him.

Befouls everything he touches with his low-class manners.

Has no interest in others and is reluctant to share.

Sends threats to other birds and engages in meaningless chatter.

He always appears when it is most advantageous for him.

Has an uncanny ability to hide when things get too dicey for him.

Our two resident blue jays attempted to level the playing field. Their combined efforts to dive bomb the squirrel and drive him from the feeder were unsuccessful. The cardinals formed a coalition with the blue jays and imposed sanctions that limited the squirrel’s ability to deplete the food supply.

The finches and house sparrows joined in the effort, but it became clear, they but needed some assistance from the governing body aka beloved spouse.

A wire dome placed over the feeder was the answer. There is enough open space for the birds to eat but too small for the squirrel to get more than his share.

We named the squirrel Ted Cruz, but on closer observation, he sounds a lot like Trump doesn’t he; ineffective at everything except chaos and hard to get rid of.

New Uses for Wow and Okay

Recently,  when someone offered an over the top, unsolicited opinion, I found myself retort challenged. Gawking back in incredulous amazement had no effect on this know-it-all. 

I had depleted my list of snarky comebacks to those who make inappropriate statements, demands or ask questions I do not intend to answer.

The passive/aggressive southern “bless your heart”, publicized to the extent that even the newest Yankee knows you are calling him/her a dumbass, is a weak response to the over-the-top stupid.

The phrase is trite and there is a drawback to its usage. Those for whom the phrase is entirely appropriate can mistakenly believe you are sympathizing with them and blather on, leaving you with no quick means of escape.

I began my quest for effective responses to tyrants, malcontents, and buffoons.

My research uncovered some new uses for “Wow” and “Okay”

For instance, “wow” is the new no-fault response to rude comments. Reserve “okay” for the stupid ones.

The beauty of “wow” is it’s unexpected.

The surprise factor deprives a know-it-all of any opportunity to recover quickly. As they struggle to decode your response, you can escape.

“Wow” is an effective stall tactic when asked to accommodate a request you have no intention of granting. The person asking may come up with his or her own solution.

The use of “okay” as a response to stupid comments is a bit tricky and requires some navigation.

Speak “Okay” slowly—- “okaaaay” accompanied by a look of resolute nothingness.

The caveat for “okay” is to reserve its use as a non-offensive means to halt idiotic comments.

The downside of using this tactic is some may mistake “okay” as an indication you are in agreement, trapping you in the equivalent of verbal hell.

Should you find yourself in this situation, respond “Wow, okay, bless your heart”, and run.

Note: Originally published October 2013
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