What Other People Expect You to Say Is Not Your Problem

Mary Margaret says:Mary Margaret

I often find myself in deep **** and through no fault of my own.

As time marches on, more often than not, I find I do not live up to other’s expectations.

This observation threw me into a panic for a hot minute. I don’t want to become one of those women, whose mouth goes into overdrive when the brain fails to check speech.

Then again, today women speak out. Speaking out has never been an issue for me. It’s what I do best, but it often lands me in hot water.

Most people expect mature women to follow some outmoded concept of societal structure. Truth is, most mature women do not. Life is short; it is liberating to discard unrealistic and unwanted expectations.

What people expect you to say or do is not your problem.

Here’s where the rub comes in; most of the time others expectations emanate from their values or standards. My bible thumping auntie who expects I will forgo my evening martini during her visit is dead wrong.

My vegan cousin who expects me to serve tofu turkey for Thanksgiving is nuttier than the fruitcake she brought last year. (It is propping up the broken sofa leg.)

It is impossible to try and figure out another person’s value system, respond, and be genuine. Dr. Seusse had another twist on this theory, “Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.”

A benign smile and nodding response are not how I roll. (Speaking of “roll,” I have perfected a politically correct, barely perceptible, but effective method to deliver an eye roll, but that’s a topic for another time.)

Those who expect “great expectations” from me should scurry from fiction to the self-help section of the bookstore.

 

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