Lies and Excuses

Seems like every day brings a new onslaught of half-truths and outright lies.

Fox news and Congress top the list of spin and we take everything they say with a hefty dose of skepticism or outright disbelief. We know there is a gotcha lurking about somewhere.

Misinformation found a home on the internet and people are eager to cite the outrageous as factual.

The take away from this is we are becoming liars in instances when the simple truth would suffice.

For example, when someone makes up an unbelievable whopper to decline my invitation, I’m aware the intent is to spare my feelings. More often than not, they insult my intelligence.

Topping the list of least believed lies is the “conjure an over the top conflicting engagement.” Am I to believe that your last minute opportunity to visit the Vatican conflicts with the exact same time I was coming for a visit? (And, don’t send a photoshopped pix of you and the pope for proof.)

New age excuses are so yesterday and lame. I don’t believe for one second you are backing out of attending my dinner party because it conflicts with your horoscope according to the Mayan calendar.

I am also aware of the “bait and switch/reward” technique. This is usually deployed when declining an invitation is accompanied by a dis-ingenuousness offer to meet at the Hari Krishna restaurant for brunch Sunday morning at 5:30 AM. The insincerity of this invite implies my transportation to this event involves a short yellow bus.

Telling a whopper has its consequences. If you are going to fib, don’t be surprised when your birthday party takes place at 5:00 AM for brunch. It’s the least I can do to honor your new early morning fitness agenda. I am thrilled that I remembered you stated a fondness for Krishna’s cuisine and you probably won’t miss the celebratory mimosas at all.

You will no doubt be ecstatic when you receive an autographed photo of the pope along with a framed copy of the Mayan calendar.

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Note: First published September 5, 2011

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