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Month: September 2018

Congress Who??

Note: Originally posted October, 2011.
September 27, 2018: 
Display of belligerance and arrogance demonstrated by Judiciary Committee and Kavanaugh make Grover look like a choirboy.
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I heard a song on the radio called “My Give a Damn’s Busted.” It reminded me of congress attitude toward their constituents.

They apparently have decided to sign the Grover Norquist pledge while ignoring their electorate. I watched Grover on U-Tube compete in the 2009 “Funniest Celebrity in Washington” contest. He wasn’t talented or funny. We should all be relieved to know that’s where congress support lies.

Congress sent billions in taxpayer money to bail out Wall Street firms. While the rest of us sucked wind from financial losses, there is no law against them profiting from stock trades by using information that is unavailable to the public.

The Stop Trading on Congressional Knowledge (STOCK) Act, is designed to close this loophole for members of Congress. However, despite being introduced three times it has yet to be presented for a vote.

I have a few suggestions that might get congress attention and encourage them to clean up their act.

1. They should have the same healthcare plan most Americans have.

2. They should pay for all of their perks.

3. Withhold their salaries until they can agree to act like businessmen. Most of them would have been fired if they were working in the private sector.

4. Issue job performance reviews to establish salaries and make them available to voters.

5. Publish individual voting records on major issues in a format such as the weekly TV guide.

6. No holidays permitted while there are pending issues requiring a vote. Consider it unpaid overtime.

7. No unrelated or last minute amendments allowed on any bill prior to the vote.

8. There should be a pop quiz on each bill prior to calling for a vote and the results made public.

9. All unused campaign funds are forfeited when leaving office.

10. Eliminate the ability of any individual member of congress to hold an issue hostage.

Come election time, congress better depend on votes from Norquist’ groupies because “My Give a Damn’s Busted.”


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Ted Cruz, The Name Most Texans Associate with Liar and Donald Trump

Mary Margaret
Mary Margaret

After this past Friday’s debate with Beto O’Rourke, Ted Cruz’s reputation as a liar remains unblemished.

Beto is Texan’s last chance to redeem ourselves and relinquish our title as a state filled with gun nuts and right-wing extremists.

I’ll give Cruz this; he is forgiving. After Trump called him “Lyin Ted” they patched things up and his new best bud is coming to Texas to save his bacon in the mid-terms.

Cruz’s other friend in low places, Danny Patrick, is joining Trump in the effort.

John Boehner, the former speaker described Cruz best. “Lucifer in the flesh. I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

In addition to serving in Congress since 2013 and escaping the miserable SOB tag, the contrast between Beto and Cruz couldn’t be more glaring.

Beto is the guy who would fend off the schoolyard bully – Cruz is the schoolyard bully.

Beto is a tall, handsome drink of water.

Cruz is like the short shot of laughing gas that doesn’t work when the dentist does a root canal. The mere sound of Cruz’s voice is enough to invoke fear and hysteria. He sounds like a wound-up tent preacher on helium.

Cruz is Grandpa on the Munsters – Beto is Bradley Cooper in anything.

Beto is Patrón Silver – Cruz is the craft tequila your crazy uncle Louie brewed in a shed in the woods.

Cruz is the guy your mama warned you about – Beto is the guy you’d trust to make your bank deposit for you .

I’ve tried to think of something positive to say about Cruz there  surely is something  he excels in.

Got it –  He is an accomplished, unabashed liar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Politicians, Body Language and Lies

Here’s what I said about body language, politicians and lies in September 2011.

The recent televised Republican presidential candidate debate did not reveal anything new or enlightening about any of the candidates. It was an opportunity to observe body language and the various contortions affected by the debaters as the evening of spin progressed.

Texans know from too many years of experience when Governor Perry is going to tell a whopper.

In his best televangelist move, he rocks forward on his toes, rolls his eyes and his mouth goes ballistic. His head bobbles around like a cheap carnival prize doll. If he happens to be seated during a Q & A, he squirms around in his seat like the guy in the TV commercial for Gas X. The makeover with the sleek coif cannot disguise his hand in the cookie jar expression. He looks like a trapped possum having an out-of-body experience. If it were someone other than Rick Perry, it would be painful to watch.

Michelle Bachmann’s hairdo is an indication of the daily dose of science fiction she is going to spew.

When her hair is flowing about her shoulders, she is going to invoke God and politicize his possible involvement in hurricanes and earthquakes. Perhaps she believes the almighty will intervene on her behalf and award her the Republican candidacy. When the flowing mane is fashioned in an upsweep similar to a Pentecost preacher’s wife; watch out! Women are going to be offended. We will be admonished to be submissive to our husbands. She needs to return to the land of Nod.

Newt Gingrich has been lying so long, he could pass a lie detector test fully anesthetized.

As the language of politicians doesn’t appear to change much, perhaps we would be well advised to observe how they speak and disregard what they say.

Here’s what changed in September 2018:

Michele Bachmann considered running for Al Franken’s seat in congress. She indicated God would let her know what to do.

The Image (shown above, and below in the embedded tweet) was captured and shared by Marissa Luna of Alliance for a Better Minnesota.)

Who knows? She’s not running.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there’s Rick Perry who now heads oops.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body language is a huge reveal. If you don’t believe me watch DJT next time he is telling a whopper.  With arms crossed over puffed out chest, eyes rolling around like a squirrel on crack; Donnie is telling a whopper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Women in History Fall Behind in Texas Textbooks

Update: Here’s what Dana Milbank, of the  Washington Post, wrote about “the veil of ignorance.”

I wonder what qualifies someone to serve on the Texas Board of Education textbook committee?

Lineage dating back to Neanderthals must be a requirement. Is it any wonder the rest of the United States, and possibly the entire world, view Texans as low I.Q. mouth breathers?

It should come as no surprise that Texas high school students might be taught that Moses “informed the American Founding documents.”

The latest textbook committee peccadillo concerning the state’s social studies requirements was should the word “heroic”  be removed in describing the Alamo defenders.

Caused quite a flap; even a representative from the Texas Values group protested removal of the adjective stating, “In Texas, you don’t mess with the Alamo and you don’t mess with our Christian heritage,” The seven women who survived the battle of the Alamo didn’t pass muster for a mention in textbooks.

Christian heritage in Texas is rarely mentioned except when the legislature is in session and the state finds ways to restrict women’s rights.

Last week the state board of education voted to remove Hillary Clinton and Helen Keller from the history curriculum. The first woman in history to be nominated for President of the United States is not worthy of mention in history studies? Helen Keller, a role model for courage, is not worthy of mention?

Members of the Texas State Board of Education are elected and there are no term limits.

The seven women who currently serve on the fifteen-member board probably don’t know that seven women survived the battle of the Alamo.

I doubt it is mentioned anywhere in a history book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Truth about Anti-Aging is There is no Anti-Aging

The cosmetic industry has made billions on anti-aging products duping unsuspecting women of a certain age into parting with their hard-earned retirement funds. The models they use to peddle their wares appear to be barely out of puberty.

There is only one option to escape aging and I do  not find that very appealing.

Since I have spent a vast number of years aging, I believe I am sufficiently qualified to address this national obsession with youth.

Forget everything you’ve ever heard about losing weight. You will look like something from pharaohs tomb. Embrace that fat. It is guaranteed to push those wrinkles and crow’s feet into oblivion.

Face lifts have a shelf life and when they expire you look as though you have.

A blank, waxy persona may be okay for the last visitation, but on the other hand, that may be why some are opting out of funeral services.

Hair can make or break the aging deal. Dyed hair and extensions don’t work unless you are going for the retired drag queen look. And, that may prove to be exciting. Think of all the interesting conversations you may have.

Big butts are in, so for those whose posterior requires its own mode of transportation hooray. For those who weren’t blessed, wear tennis shoes everywhere and people will simply think you are a diligent fitness freak.

Lingerie brings mixed blessings. Granny panties are ugly as heck but prevent a total collapse of your butt sinking down your knees. As for Spanx, forget it. The twins and your tummy are destined to become BFF’s forever. The good news is underwire for lingerie does not come in industrial strength. Now you can throw away all those belts.

The all-time best way to have others ooh and aah over how youthful you appear is simply to add seven years to whatever age you happen to be.

I know this is effective because no one can believe how great I look at age One-hundred and three.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Donald Trump and The Revenge of the Dumb Southerner

Mary Margaret

Now he’s gone and done it – using dumb southerner as a slur.

Southerners help put DJT into office, an event best described by the lyrics in the song “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down.”

The southerners who serve in his cabinet won’t consider his comment a term of endearment.

But, I must admit, some of the southerners he has chosen to serve are not the owners of any great brain trust. No one ever used “Rick Perry” and “smart” in the same sentence and yet he is secretary of the US Energy Department.

One must wonder where Sarah Sanders head is. A southern woman who spends every day defending the indefensible is indefensible.

Nikki Haley, another southern woman and our Ambassador to the United States, given who she must work with, has kept it together admirably.

This may come as a surprise, but as a lifelong southerner, I was thrilled to hear DJT use the term “dumb southerner.” The mid-terms are just around the corner. Who knows – with his high IQ he might even say it again.

I’m hoping enough of the dumb southerners retaliate in the November mid-terms and make sure the stable genius has some new opposition with backbone.

 

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Did Melania Write The NY Times Op-Ed Piece ?

My money is on Melania. She has the upper hand in that relationship. She is in the perfect position to mess with DJT. What is he going to do to her? Divorce her? She is his last-gasp opportunity to give him any semblance of respectability.

Most people say they feel sorry for Melania because she is trapped. Doesn’t pass the smell test.

There are any number of news outlets that would love to get inside scoop on the lunatic she married. I’ll bet she is salivating over the dollar signs associated with a potential book deal.

If she wasn’t blowing the whistle on the Donald, she’d be in New York Or Mar-a-Lago.

Think about it. Wouldn’t writing to the New York Times be the perfect revenge if you found yourself married to a double-dealing, lying, cheating jerk?

Donald is not going to leave his nightly ritual of Fox News and his bucket of KFC. It is a perfect opportunity for Melania to sneak down to the oval office and pinch the dangerous information that the idiot man-child might misuse.

The tanning bed is a missed opportunity if you ask me. If he had cheated on me, I’d slam the lid down on that puppy, weld it shut and toodle off to France. Who else would know when DJT is roasting to a nuclear orange but Melania? She has time to make all kinds of mischief.

A comb-over like the one atop the prez’ noggin has to take up a good hour or so to achieve and at least another half hour to cement in place. I’m sure there are other opportunities that no one but Melania can execute and not get caught.

Donald can trot out his Director of Strategic Communications to cry foul six ways for Sunday, and they’d be half right. It is a fowl; the hen that sets in the White House across the breakfast table from you know who.

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Labor Day Reminder About Women, Rotten Jobs and Working in the Sixties

Labor day reminds me of my career path that began in the age BEFORE Aquarius in the early sixties.

Constraints of the previous decade controlled women. The expectation that women were to achieve perfection as homemakers, mothers, and nurturers ruled. The bias of divorce fell on the woman. A hint of taint surfaced as though you were a failure at being a diligent homemaker and obedient wife.

Divorced women with young children and no recent work experience had limited career options. There were few female hiring managers and you couldn’t count on them for support. Their focus was on surviving in a male-dominated workplace. Men made more money, enjoyed more benefits, and less accountability.

Women had the vote, but you’d hardly know it from questions posed by male interviewers. 

“Do you plan to remarry?”   Any appropriate response was lost to me. I was trapped like a common criminal, but before I could respond, the interviewer  answered for me, “You will marry again someday. Should we decide to hire you, we’d have to replace and retrain your position.”

The prevailing concept was that divorced women with children were not focused employees. They were marking time, waiting for a man to come along and rescue them. Divorced men escaped the scrutiny pressed on divorced women.  They could claim to be a “family man” even if they did not live in the same household.

“What will we do when your children are sick?” You had to be quick with at least three backup providers, including names, addresses, and phone numbers.

Divorced women bore the label of damaged goods. Often there was a veiled reference to your social life, dating, and sex. Most divorced women with children did not have the energy or lingerie to pursue either. It required finesse to convey the message you did not plan to date or have sex until well after retirement.

It was difficult to interview for a job with your dignity and anger intact.  Men were breadwinners and heads of household. Women were….just women.

No woman who worked in the sixties would want to return to those conditions.

Don’t believe  it couldn’t happen again? Two years ago I would have agreed, but then two years ago I couldn’t have envisioned ever having DJT as President.

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I made a career out of survival jobs. I’ve had more bad jobs than a hooker. I’ve met more weird people in the workplace than a hooker.

And, if you’re interested you can read about some of them here.

 

 

 

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