Pandemic Skills

Thankful to have thus far escaped COVID-19; I have tried to embrace the “cup is half full” concept and find the light through a dark time.

During this period of isolation, some got their doctorate degree, mastered baking or learned a new language. I am a slug; my ambitions are nowhere near that lofty.

A recent trip to the vet indicated our cat Maxwell developed dental plaque. The teeth cleaning procedure at the vet is pricey and involves anesthesia. I love him, but, if it’s my teeth or his, he will have to be content with soft food.

I turned to YouTube for solutions. I even stumbled across a video on how to trim your hair and not look like you were recovering from a head lice treatment.

A YouTube video featuring a fluffy adorable cat having its teeth brushed looked easy enough.

Maxwell is super smart and a mama’s boy, so I knew he would fall right in line with the program. Wrong! He wanted no part of this regimen. No amount of cat treats enticed him to cooperate.

I discovered playing to his male vanity was the ticket. When viewing his “pretty boy” image in the bathroom mirror, he grudgingly accepted having his teeth brushed.

As for me, I’m proud of my new skill. It is not a lofty achievement, but the cat has a beautiful smile.

Trump and The Music Man

As a parting shot ending his reign of terror, the leader of the Trump Crime family revived the Howard Hill role from “The Music Man.”

Hill, a seasoned huckster, duped the townspeople into starting a band and purchasing uniforms and instruments from him. After pocketing the money, he planned to hike it out of town.

Hill’s scam of uniforms and instruments are chicken feed compared to Trump, the master huckster, and song and dance man,

According to one source, Trump’s latest fundraising swindle suckered supporters into  raking in about 170 million dollars to help fight false election claims.

While Melania is measuring for new curtains at Mira Lago, Trump is riding out the rest of his term squeezing the last nickel from duped supporters.

In the “Music Man”, the big-hearted townspeople let Hill go free.

Trump’s latest money grab falls far below any standard of human decency; no surprise there. What is surprising is the number of citizens and elected officials who continue to support him. Are these folks big-hearted or stupid?

The taxpayers will continue to pay for his protection when he did so little to protect us.

The Trump administration has been a comedy/tragedy performance. There is nothing lyrical about the past four years. (well, I can think of a song or two that express my thoughts, but best kept to myself.)

The end of the Trump Apprentice for Presidency show is in sight and that’s the best gift I’ve received in four years.

“How Come People Get So Ugly When They Grow Old?”

This query uttered by my octogenarian dad made us laugh once we recovered from its impropriety. Dad was the model for political correctness in the presence of others, but at home it was a different story.

His comments often made us laugh; the kind where you know it isn’t nice to laugh, but you just can’t help yourself.

Unfortunately, it is a gift that he passed on. There are some occasions when I know it is best not to sit next to my sister or even look at her. Unfortunately, I passed on the flaw to at least two of my offspring and I am still waiting results for the remaining one.

Never having the burden of being a great beauty, I didn’t figure I had much to lose as I aged. I hoped healthy and strong would satisfy as modifiers for my appearance.

This all changed when we installed one of the new video doorbells. The ancient drone I observed leaving home was a shock. Even making allowances for pandemic hair, I resembled David Crosby after a bad acid trip. Moving away from the camera, my backside resembles a ski slope – a vast ski slope.

At that moment Dad’s observation struck home but it was not a laughing matter. My bathroom mirror had withheld full disclosure of just how bad the situation is.

I decided to be positive and count my blessings, until I received my new drivers license photo, confirming and memorializing the doorbell portrait.

My mother’s innovative solution of mastering “ugly” on her driver’s license was to paste a more flattering photo i.e. younger over the state issued one.

Words come back to haunt as I was reminded, I once comforted a friend, saying older women can be considered handsome and that is not a bad thing. I would be elated to observe handsome from the video doorbell; I hadn’t planned on butt-ugly.

Dad was right; and if I listen closely, I believe I can hear him laughing.