Congress Who??

I heard a song on the radio called “My Give a Damn’s Busted.” It reminded me of congress attitude toward their constituents.

They apparently have decided to sign the Grover Norquist pledge while ignoring their electorate. I watched Grover on U-Tube compete in the 2009 “Funniest Celebrity in Washington” contest. He wasn’t talented or funny. We should all be relieved to know that’s where congress support lies.

Congress sent billions in taxpayer money to bail out Wall Street firms. While the rest of us sucked wind from financial losses, there is no law against them profiting from stock trades by using information that is unavailable to the public.

The Stop Trading on Congressional Knowledge (STOCK) Act, is designed to close this loophole for members of Congress. However, despite being introduced three times it has yet to be presented for a vote.

I have a few suggestions that might get congress attention and encourage them to clean up their act.

1. They should have the same healthcare plan most Americans have.

2. They should pay for all of their perks.

3. Withhold their salaries until they can agree to act like businessmen. Most of them would have been fired if they were working in the private sector.

4. Issue job performance reviews to establish salaries and make them available to voters.

5. Publish individual voting records on major issues in a format such as the weekly TV guide.

6. No holidays permitted while there are pending issues requiring a vote. Consider it unpaid overtime.

7. No unrelated or last minute amendments allowed on any bill prior to the vote.

8. There should be a pop quiz on each bill prior to calling for a vote and the results made public.

9. All unused campaign funds are forfeited when leaving office.

10. Eliminate the ability of any individual member of congress to hold an issue hostage.

Come election time, congress better depend on votes from Norquist’ groupies because “My Give a Damn’s Busted.”




The Pool Siren

My BFF and I headed to the indoor exercise pool at the gym. We had not committed to our regimen to the extent we wanted to subject ourselves to the horror of purchasing new suits. Trying on a suit that advertises industrial strength spandex is humiliating. My suit has “endurance” boldly emblazoned across the front right hip. It is not referring to my aquatic capabilities.

The suit had seen better days. It resembles a worn out slipcover for an overstuffed couch. The seat stressed to the extreme, is an awful shade of worn green/black. There appears to be a derriere inside even when none is present.

My friend assured me her suit was tacky too. She usually exaggerates but this time she had not. Her suit was a polka dot number that had done hard time. She covered the lower portion of the suit by donning a pair of exercise shorts. “Shabby chic” does not apply to swimsuits.

A session in the hot whirlpool had reduced our hair to limp strings. Without makeup, we looked like two crumpets prior to toasting. A quick trip to the pool with beach towels draped Burka style covered most of the damage.

We were forced to share the pool with three irritating males whose antics were reminiscence of high school boys except for the glaring man boobs. Suddenly there was a thrashing in the water likened to a feeding frenzy by sharks as the “boys” made their way to the entrance of the pool.

She must have watched the old movie “Picnic” too many times. In her best Kim Novak move, she descended the pool steps slowly. A vision in a pepto bismol fluorescent pink suit, she sported perfectly coiffed, newly tinted red hair. Her makeup was complete with eye shadow, mascara and lip-gloss. Gold hoop earrings completed her ensemble. As she held court at one end of the pool, the pubescent acting males abandoned their splashing and crowding.

The pool siren and her groupies have not been seen since.

There is something to be said for not being a part of the “popular” crowd and saggy spandex. My BFF and I enjoy the pool in our ratty suits in total isolation.

Webcam101 for Seniors Perpetuates Ageism

The YouTube video of an older couple accidentally recording themselves on their webcam was intended to provide an,”aw aren’t they cute” experience. One has to wonder why the couple permitted this assault to their dignity. The fact that the video had so many hits would indicate most people have no problem viewing older people as comedic subjects. The clip was demeaning and embarrassing.

ABC news compounded the insult by broadcasting it during the prime time news hour in addition to “Good Morning America”. The newscaster who cooed over its “cuteness” is not that much younger than the couple on the video. I am disappointed she compromised her credibility as a proficient news journalist. No one over the age of 18 is “cute” and depicting older adults as such is inappropriate.

My Photoshop class is primarily comprised of older adults. Most are tech savvy and many are still employed full time beyond retirement. Continuing education in computer technology is almost a necessity for older people to remain independent and informed. The participants in the YouTube video are in the minority of today’s technically challenged older people.

The granddaughter who published the video might want to consider teaching a computer class for older people. It seems like a good way to pay it forward and lessen potential negative karmic debt created by her lapse in judgment.

Granted, we all need a laugh during trying times, but not at the expense of promoting ageism.