emoji challenged

Emojis No More

I don’t like emojis. They are just a tad too precious for my taste, especially the ones with hearts. As a rule, I do not send emojis with text messages. 

Adding an emoji to a tweet would be proof positive that I am not cool. (Does anyone other than weather forecasters still use “cool” as a synonym?)

I never know which emoji to send as a response.

When I am having the crazies while texting do I add the one with crossed eyes or the grimacing one? Life is hard enough. I should not have to ponder this issue.

The tears of joy face confuses me; it could also mean laughing until I cry. I never know if I should send the yellow face sideways or the scrunchy face. To complicate matters, there are also cats who laugh, cry and do everything human emojis do.

How should I interpret the one with the blue face? Is the sender telling me I have committed an unforgivable blunder? I thought the red angry face emoji was for reprimands.

The human emojis really throw me for a loop. They are gender-specific, but without my glasses I can’t tell if it is a female or a male with a bad mullet.

They have an emoji for everything, even poo. Except for responding to political messages from those who lean to the hard right, I can’t think of an instance where they are appropriate. Note to self: Don’t even think about using the hand gesture emojis.

An offspring, who I will not identify, but she knows who she is, noted I am emoji deficient and sent me a link to a site on the web called emojipedia. The choices made my head spin.

I will remain uncool. There is no way I am going to spend time emoji searching.

I am declaring myself emoji free. I’ll just stick to four-letter expletives. They have served me well and eliminate confusion for everyone.

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