Texans without Electricity Yada Yada Yada

Let me begin by stating I have never worn sweats over pajamas to run errands, but on February 13, 2021 in Dallas, Texas I did. I have lived here long enough to know if weather forecasters mention snow, grocery store shelves resemble the fields after a locust invasion.

I felt a bit silly as snow predictions rarely materialize here, but who wants to go without coffee anytime, especially when the weather is awful.

It was a quick trip, and I did not see anyone I knew; one of the few advantages of the mask – total anonymity.

Back home while unloading the groceries, birds, hordes of them, began to swarm overhead zigzagging crazily and chirping. It was a creepy moment and I wondered if mother nature was giving them a heads up.

She was.

The next day we woke to a cold house, and no power. It would be the first of three days, that I wore insulated underwear under pajamas, under fleece lined sweats, under a heavy fleece lined bathrobe.

I’m here to tell you Dr. Zhivago’s romantic romp in an ice castle is total bull.

We made it the first day with sterno can soup and coffee huddled with the cat in a room with a propane heater, open window and carbon monoxide detector. I was thankful to have fully charged laptops and extra power banks for phones.

We were fortunate as we had rolling electricity after a day and a half. During that time, a mad dash to prepare hot food and coffee to put in a thermos occupied our time.

Rick Perry said, “Texans would be without electricity for longer than three days to keep the federal government out of their business,”

Rick did not waste one nano second to work for the federal government after his failure at Dancing with the Stars.

When Trump’s ship sank, Perry joined the board of LE GP, general partner of Energy Transfer.

I’d bet my last cup of coffee, on February 14, 2021, Rick Perry was not in a sub-zero home wearing insulated underwear under pajamas, under fleece lined sweats, under a heavy fleece lined bathrobe.

Rick Perry can go straight to hell.

Rick Perry and The Welcome Wagon

Rick Perry never passes up an opportunity to bring more embarrassment to Texans. When he discovered Austin, Texas is on North Korea’s hit list he stopped short of sending an engraved invitation.

Perry left no doubt that he is a few bluebonnets short of a bouquet.

You do not tell the enemy that Austin is the epicenter of technology. Ratcheting up the risk factor to turn Texans into toast is further testament to the man’s questionable IQ.

If North Korea had a major city in your state listed on their strike list you’d probably consider it prudent to maintain a low profile. You’d want their weeble wobble head of state to believe he had made a huge mistake and there is no such place as Austin, Texas. At the very least you’d attempt to promote it as a worthless, barren unimportant piece of real estate.

You would spin Texas in such a negative way, that Kim Jong Un would not want to waste a crumb of a neutron on us.

You would tout the fact women have fewer rights. Poor people have limited access to healthcare if they are unable to pay. Those conditions are so similar to North Korea that Kim wouldn’t bother to leave home.

You’d bombard the media with the fact that Texas would be dead last in literacy rates if it weren’t for Mississippi.

If we need further evidence we are lacking in appeal, we have Ted Cruz, John Cornyn, and Louie Gohmert.

Considering Perry has criticized the federal government for not doing enough to maintain protection for border states and joked about Texas succeeding from the union, I wonder what his defense strategy might be should we require protection.

Somehow the threat of Governor Good Hair standing tall in front of the Capitol with his coyote shootin’ iron is not a comforting defense strategy. If history is any indication, I’m not counting on him to protect us. The last time our state required help he prayed for rain and we got wildfires.

Maybe we can tap some of those Medicaid funds the gov is refusing and send Kim buckets and buckets of the new KFC boneless chicken. The little dictator apparently likes to chow down, so if diplomacy doesn’t distract him, maybe a carb and fat buzz will.