squirrel

How to Get Rid of a Narcissistic Squirrel Who Refuses to Leave

Our resident narcissistic squirrel has monopolized the bird feeder for years.

narcissistic squirrel

He never sleeps.

Always places himself front and center; it’s all about him.

Befouls everything he touches with his low-class manners.

Has no interest in others and is reluctant to share.

Sends threats to other birds and engages in meaningless chatter.

He always appears when it is most advantageous for him.

Has an uncanny ability to hide when things get too dicey for him.

Our two resident blue jays attempted to level the playing field. Their combined efforts to dive bomb the squirrel and drive him from the feeder were unsuccessful. The cardinals formed a coalition with the blue jays and imposed sanctions that limited the squirrel’s ability to deplete the food supply.

The finches and house sparrows joined in the effort, but it became clear, they but needed some assistance from the governing body aka beloved spouse.

A wire dome placed over the feeder was the answer. There is enough open space for the birds to eat but too small for the squirrel to get more than his share.

We named the squirrel Ted Cruz, but on closer observation, he sounds a lot like Trump doesn’t he; ineffective at everything except chaos and hard to get rid of.

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