St. Patrick’s Day

St Patrick’s Day Escape

Time for escape; it’s St Patrick’s Day and we could use a break.

St. Patrick a fifth-century Christian missionary to Ireland and its patron saint, according to legend drove the snakes into the ocean.

At that time, there were no snakes in Ireland. The more likely story is, “snakes” was code for pagan priests who were driven out of Ireland.

Politico fact check wasn’t around so there was no source to repudiate the tale.

Today, who really cares. It’s an occasion for kissing folks, drinking beer and eating a huge plate of corned beef.

For those contemplating relocating to the Emerald Isle if a certain phenomenon becomes our leader, remember; “better the devil you know (than the devil you don’t).”

Troll

The Phenomenon

Today we have to look no further than a certain orange-haired troll some describe as a phenomenon.

According to the Thesaurus other words for phenomenon are:

  • freak accident
  • natural disaster
  • unavoidable casualty
  • inevitable accident

The point to this little tale is when a story or theory is advanced often enough, people stop questioning its validity. So just keep believing St Patrick Drove the snakes from Ireland.

It’s no worse than some of the other blarney that’s floating around the politicosphere.

St. Patrick’s Day

Once a year, we look forward to our colorful neighborhood St. Patrick’s Day parade. Everyone, including families with babies in strollers and older folk with canes and walkers turn out for this event. It’s a tad risqué, but no more so than an episode of The Bachelor.

Once a year, Ms. O’Crank offers her annual rant to the local news about the tradition not being family friendly and relocating it elsewhere. She is concerned that her children cannot attend because it may offend their sensibilities. Really?

Our neighborhood was home to bars and restaurants long before it became a trendy place to live. In fact, some of the older homes have cubbies that hid prohibition era booze. It is a bit of bohemia, Southern style.

The ‘hood offers easy access to every conceivable amenity within a five-minute jaunt. One can experience at least four different ethnic cuisines. There are three supermarkets, one of which specializes in organic. We have a florist, hairdresser, tanning salon, vitamin shop, any number of specialty shops, post office and office supply store.

You can buy alcohol of some sort on just about every block. And, there is a retail store that specializes in birth control supplies. For the more adventurous, within those same walls are “toys” that are not featured at Toys R US. After shopping you can venture next door to the rotisserie chicken place for take-out. Go figure.

I’ll bet Ms. O’Crank lives in one of those hideous McMansions that are sucking the grace and charm out of the area. I’d love to hear her explanations to her children as she drives them to school past the dildo shop. She would have to add fifteen minutes to her daily commute to avoid the liquor stores.

Ms. O’Crank should be the one to move. She can re-locate to the family friendly ‘burbs and enjoy the sound of her automobile sucking up $4.00 a gallon gas. She and the kiddos can catch up on re-runs of “Hee Haw”.

She can even sneak into town to watch next year’s St. Patrick’s Day parade incognito.

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